Forget Russians, Facebook Users Can Make Up Their Own "Facts"


Thumbs up if you like spreading false information and ironically dividing friends and family!


For whatever reason in 2004 I was convinced to join Facebook. At the time you needed an education (.edu) email address and your school at to be participating. It was a fantastic way to creep on your classmates with the pretense of making a new friend ship. At some point or another, as with all things, humanity turned a social networking platform into a place of judgement, stigmatization and the best place to spread false information. Yet, Facebook is more than that to others. It's a great place to share those hastily made memes to judge, stigmatize and spread false information.


I'd argue that five years ago Facebook's biggest annoyance was that people shared irrelevant details of their lives and were fulled by the melodramatic engine of "likes" and comments.

Just got my haircut and now my two year old calls me Clip Clop. If you could just like and share then Jesus won't give him the measles.


I think it was the seeping of AIM away messages into this new platform that drove this movement, but now. Well, now is a different animal. Facebook has progressed into a cesspool of lies poising as facts and judgement laden memes with pleasant pictures of family and friends sprinkled in.


I want to be clear up front. I'm not using this site to endorse any such political views. If you take it as such then you're a dumb ass.


Memes are a staple of Internet society. At one point in time they were the funniest fucking thing I've ever seen, but now things are getting just sad. Terrible memes are being created in a lame attempt to be sardonic about the present political landscape. Listen, I'm not a complete jackass. It is painfully obvious that our world is open to getting ripped a new one, but at least put a little effort into this.


"If I knew this image was being used for things I don't believe in then I might do the red blooded American thing and sue your ass." -Clint Eastwood (probably)


The memes are often contain little to no substantive research and peddle to the lowest common denominator on Facebook: the gullible masses. The above meme includes a man known for being a major hard ass in films, but just as sure as John Wayne's real name was Marion, Clint Eastwood was decidedly different from his persona.


He's a vegan. A vegan. Can you fucking believe the man that played Unclean Harold doesn't appreciate the juicy goodness of meat? Honestly, I couldn't. I love steak. If I had to choose between a quality dry aged steak and my neighbors dog that is increasingly annexing my backyard....well....I guess that's an easy choice, but it would make things uncomfortable for at least a year.


Essentially, if the meme's creator did even a tiny shred of research about Clint Eastwood they'd have realized he's not the man you might think he is. He supports gun control, he doesn't approve of hunting and wait for it....he's pro choice (gasp). He supports gay marriage and openly has disapproved of the majority of American military engagements since WWII (Korea, Vietnam, Afghanistan and Iraq Part II).


Here's a little treat regarding that above meme:

"Why would anyone need or want an assault weapon?" -Clint Eastwood on Larry King Weekend


Listen, I don't care how you feel about those above items, but just know that if you plan on using a person to represent your beliefs you might want to make sure they actually do represent your point of view.


I'll give you this other fun example of poorly researched Facebook craptastic information.


Doesn't say anything about what happens if you stick them in a favorite orfice. Just as long as you get the nutrients. Carrots are good for your eye sight and colon.


Eating baby carrots is a death sentence that much is obvious. Oh wait? It's not. That's right most of us have chowed down on enough of these bad boys throughout the years to kill an elephant. Think about all the times you've nibbled on the veggie tray at parties, packed them in your lunch or seductively fed them to your partner. One might be able to argue they've eaten more baby carrots than they've drank water.


So why aren't you and everyone who loves baby carrots dead?


Because it's a stupid made up lie that's designed to scare you for some stupid made up reason. As the post states, ugly carrots are reshaped and soaked in chlorine to make them orange and kill you. Yet according to Snopes, baby carrots are ugly carrots are just ugly carrots. Baby carrots are specifically grown with the intent on appealing to children (orange, sweet and can easily fit into their tiny noses. What were you thinking? Pervs). The chlorine is actually used on both organic and non-organic goods and it isn't a bath, but a spray. You know kind of like how everything else gets sprayed. The chlorine is used so you don't get food poisoning It's within the EPA regulations and here's the kicker:


It's the same amount found in your tap water.



I can promise you that when the food poisoning hits you won't look this calm about it or wanting to wear a white shirt.



Think of all the things you use your tap water for, even beyond drinking, and here you are. Still kicking from all that chlorine. So instead of fearing something without research it you can go back to hogging all the carrots at the party again.

There you go. Don't be afraid and try not to think of it as an Oompa Loompa dong when you eat it.


I know I can't believe I got away with two horse jokes in the same article. The bottom line is that there are million places for you to find bad information and just as many to find accurate information. Before you like or share some idiotic story or callous meme, just take a second and Google it for Christ's sake. I think he of all people would appreciate a person taking the time not to spread lies.


I wanted to add a piece on here about fake articles about vaccines, but that deserves its own articles. I'll leave you with you this:


Get your kids vaccinated. The doctor who made up that story 20 years ago has lost his license, the co-authors admitted they lied and were punished for their disregard of the safety of children. Not everything in life is a big damn conspiracy.






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